I know I should not be losing concentration at this peak period.
Compared to people like Kenny and Grace who have less time to study, I should be guilty for wasting my day.
Well, I am stressed up, seriously.
I kept unintentionally pressurizing myself to score for my exams, to pray that the doctor on June 10 will only remove half of my thyroid if not I will be on long term medication, to wish that after June 10 I will not lose any ability to eat, drink, sing, speak like I can now, to hope that I could resign smoothly and find a better job after that, to plead God not to keep giving me hard times etc.
I am afraid. I kept lying to myself and to people that I am not scared but I am, especially when the day draws nearer.
My mum kept emphasizing that one can die but cannot fall sick theory.
And now, my family is thinking of moving to a smaller apartment.
It is not up to me to decide because I am still unable to take over as the sole breadwinner now.
Thinking about being the sole breadwinner makes me thought of what one of my uncle said which worried me.
And if I do move house, I will be sleeping alone. Note my main point, it is not about having my own room, it is about sleeping alone which I have never done before for the past 20 years.
Another bad thing is I have to clear and pack my stuff so as to fit in.
The thought of it already freaks me out! OMG how many days will it take me?! HAHA
The good? More privacy when my guests are here (play mahjong, sleepovers, drink)? I can decorate my room?
Anyway, nothing was finalized yet. Just imagining.

I have not started anything yet, been stoning in the morning and I just want to blog before everything.
This will be my longest entry, I suppose.
It started with the lunch with Kest and Angelia at Ethan last week.


Followed by the steamboat dinner on Friday night with my colleagues before I go off for my break.
Well, they did not ask about my intention of the dinner so I did not say much also.
But it seems to be my last dinner with Colin as he finally tendered last Friday.
Siew Chin also said that she is transferring out of the department even though not sure when it will be.
And soon, I will follow next. : )

Back home, full and tired, I continued to plan the treasure hunt with Angel.
We slept for less than three hours before we met and headed to Sentosa for the preparation.
And it was fun!! HAHA
I was so proud of myself for completing the whole three hours hunt with them without eating lunch.
Initially I expected myself faint or fall out of the team halfway through but my perseverance did work even though the symptoms of fainting is there!
So TWENTY stopovers all around Sentosa (Siloso Beach, Palawan Beach, The Merlion, Images of Singapore, Dragon Trail etc.) and the pictures tells the story…

Organisers checking in to Sentosa...

Answer to the first clue... Locker 62.. HAHA [Clue 1: What is the bus that Yixiang takes during his Poly days? The number of the bus is the locker number...]

Setting off after obtaining the second clue... Heading to Dolphin Lagoon..

Trying to think who is the waitress that they should get the clue from... (which is me as I have done a lot of waitressing before)

Getting the clue from Angelia after singing the advertisement song to her for the slogan of this beer "Probably the best beer in the world"...

Floured because Qiang sang the wrong advertisement song initially...

"-_- Safety Officer hiding in the shade and resting... HAHA

The stopover where they took the longest time to find... We walked up and down the forest so many times.. lolx..

After cleaning up and everything was finished...

The cutting cake session at Vivo's White Dog Cafe


End of celebration... His gift was an ipod classic anyway.. Happy 21st Birthday Qiang!

Well, yesterday was my final work day before my leave.
But I was crying from 8plus onwards until 11plus in the office. [I just realize it is three freaking hours.]
Seriously I feel that the department is using Christy and how long can all this carry on.
Then the pre-operation checkup at NUH was another depressing activity.
Economics was boring because no close friends were sitting beside me.
I am not saying Grace is not good, she is really nice.
And I am still coughing all the way, unable to sing a proper song.
Just let me fade away~
I am still troubling whether to help him or not.

Monday – The new environment
At first I thought since I could even doze off in class, when I reached home lying on the bed, I could sleep right away.
I closed my eyes but I frowned.
Loads of thoughts gushed into my mind [why I cannot cope with work and studies at the same time, why I keep harming people, why I cannot quit now, where do I get the money after I quit, can I pass bridging, she moved on and I am very happy for her but at the same time envy her, why I cannot be up to the standard like her, why am I sick and still working, why I cannot find anyone to talk to in such wee hours (everybody has their own problems), why i always have so much responsibilities, why i always have so much difficulties taking mc and leave etc. etc.]
After struggling for half an hour of pumping questions into my head, I sat up straight and my bed and started crying like a three year old kid.
I really mean a three year old kid. [Go and observe how they cry for someone to notice them and you will understand.]
After 15minutes of crying like a baby, my mind went blank for an hour until I concussed.

Conclusion: I think too much. HAHA Just a bit stressed up

Happy Birthday WeiLing & Happy Mothers’ Day!
It has been so long since we have such a handful of Black Friday members appearing at a function.
[JQK, Mad, Lia, Von, Yixiang, Jojo plus some of the other half, Peiying and Peishan]
So the pictures say it all…






And after that it is an impromptu K session at Yishun Partyworld.

Well, it was quite fun when we got high playing the competition and I was so not confident with my singing because I was sick but surprisingly my team won the guy-girl (with Qiang) and girl-girl (with Lia) duets. HAHA
Well, I still feel that Yixiang and Lia (guy-girl) and Yixiang and Ken (guy-guy) duets team sang better.
First competition
Yixiang and Lia – Ni zui zhen gui
Ken and Mad – Lian ai pin lu
Qiang and I – Ni zui zhen gui (winners)
Jojo and Peishan – Lian ai da ren (Forfeit: Kana throw by coasters)
Second Competition
Yixiang and Ken – Ni na me ai ta (Forfeit: 20 pushups plus kana thrown by coasters)
Lia and I – You ni hen hao (winners)
So I guess this will be the session of K that I yearn for with them before my operation because there will not be any rare opportunities for a second time since a handful of them do not sing.
Though I sang darn badly yesterday, I am still a happy girl. : )

Oh, I was telling Yixiang and Jack yesterday because I am so not used to see them chat so seriously and not talking rubbish.
I guess they have really matured but it is still so not them.
Usually they will talk cock and even Jojo will join in the fun. HAHA

Friday, went for dinner at TPY with Partner. [Very recommended!!]

It was her “last” day at Credit Secretariat and I was both quite sad and envy.
We are no longer partners and maybe because we have been through a lot together in this frustrating job scope, we kind of have the telepathy to help each other.
But I am very glad that she finally breaks free and moved on.
I guess if it is not for her, I am still crying everyday and I will not get close to the other colleagues in the company.
So thank you Christy!
So Monday, I will welcome my temporary new partner, Angelia.
And I really felt guilty to drag her upon this. Hais
At first my intention was to help three but I managed to save one only now and even drag the innocent one in.

But seriously, I am counting down to the day I leave this place.
Though some may feel I am too heartless to have such a plan but I really had enough.
It is really tiring especially when I keep dozing off during work, class and even happy hours.
I really have intentions of doing Full Time studies instead of Part Time.
Well, let's see how it goes for my Bridging first.

My colleagues are going to have a website to sell their handmade accessories (earrings, necklaces, pendants etc.) so trying to help them promote over here.
This is what one of them made for me.

If anyone interested, do let me know.
PS: I got persuaded to go for the annual Dinner and Dance. “-_-

My sister’s birthday celebration – Labour Day
Yes, my sister is one year older – 19 to be exact.
And I guess this year was so far the most expensive birthday. [HAHA cannot imagine her 21st birthday]
I spent 75bucks on her gift - Levis Jeans
And then dinner that night at One Fullerton’s Palm Beach Seafood Restaurant – 150bucks
The food there was below standard but the service was excellent (especially when we commented that their signature crab was not that superb, they offered to cook again for us but we were too full to have it.)
But that dinner was quite significant as it has been awhile since our family sat down to have dinner together, furthermore with the presence of one of my uncle and my sister’s boyfriend.
This is her first boyfriend to formally sit down for dinner with our family which suddenly makes me feel this is something I have to get used to – with additional members in the family.
After that we went to Tanjong Pagar to sing K, which I must emphasize again (LOLX), their genre of songs were so different and I only sang less than 8 songs (no kick).

I was chatting with Angel just now and we talked about how amazing fate is.
Whenever I talk about this topic, I will tend to get touched very easily especially when I feel so bless to have so many wonderful friends around me.
Just like how Angel describes every single person in our clique with one word, with different characters coming together to make a story of our life.
Those memories, even though they have past, but still whenever I thought of them, it will bring a wide smile across my face.
Every time when I smile to myself in the office, my colleagues will be very puzzled and say that I am crazy.

Talking about my colleagues, I want to complain about my partner. HAHA
She keeps laughing at my new fringe and remarked that I look damn nerdy. LOLX
Indeed, I know I look younger (Kemmy says I looked like a 13 year old) but it is cute okay. HAHA
Hmph everyone likes to tease me for everything I do. HAHA
Just like last night when I played the memory game with Qiang and ZhiJian.
We covered all the mahjong tiles and tried to match the pairs out while waiting for Kenny to return.
When Kenny came back and joined the game when the tiles are almost finishing, he still can win me.
Gosh! I have got nine pairs (half of them is the guys hint me where is it one LOLX) and he has got ten.
I know I am so hopeless. LOLX fine!

But I know even though they may like to make fun of me or scold me, they are still very concerned about me.
All of them are taking very good care of me, whether in the dark or with those small little actions which they thought I do not know.
Comparatively, sometimes I feel that the things I can do for them are so little and often I knew I created a lot of unnecessary troubles for them because of my stupidity.
Well, over the years, I knew I have grown up and changed to be more independent and strong though it may not be enough.
Okay, I think I really say too much today. HAHA

The eve of Labour Day – Clubbing with Black Friday
This is the first time I got so high and dance till like nobody’s business at a club. HAHA
I even kissed Angel and Angelia, and I was hugging both girls to dance. [LOLX I feel so man]
I guess that two tequila shots, the pop and 2 jugs of alcohol really got the effect plus the others are equally high also.
But the second half when the crowd is getting packed, when my feet are aching and I start to get tired; I fell asleep at the dance floor again.
I guess I was gone again yesterday [as the others kept catching me when I nearly fall] but still sober.
Well to conclude, it is so fun! HAHA
I yearn for more : )