Back to work, I received lots of concern from my colleagues.
Most of them did not notice I was back because I was busy clearing my stuff.
Work seems peaceful, maybe it is still honeymoon period, and my pro-partner Angelia has been coping very well with Secretariat scope. : )

The day before I went back to work, I went to sing k twice. HAHA
In the afternoon, my mum dragged me to the community centre to sing with her.
At first I thought there will only be oldies but surprisingly, their songs are quite updated.
And I must emphasize it is very stress to sing there, the aunties are all experts.
[I don’t even have the courage to sing on stage. HAHA]
Then at night, I went to Partyworld with Kenny and Angelia.

Friday, all of us knocked off early, I was so excited and decided to travel all the way to Sengkang to look for Angel and Madeline just to have dinner with them. LOLX
Okay, I may seem crazy but I had nothing else in mind.

Saturday night, initially decided to miss the Secondary Four classmates gathering as they invited other people.
They called me at 8plus just to invite me over again, so I went.
Well, I am glad that I went.
Manage to see and catch up with Jinpeng, Thomas, Sweemeng, Songming, Yammeng, Jone, Huiping and Guilin.
And the guys, Huiping and I went to k at Yishun Partyworld.
We went to the biggest room (21) and got 15percent off!!

After I started to sing again, I never stop. LOLX
I am so happy to be able to sing again though they felt that my voice is back but I know it is different.
I mean the method that I used to sing is different and the skills seem to be lost somewhere.
It is okay, as long as I can still sing, I am contented already. : )

Oh, and today, I went shopping in town with Agnes and Kemmy.
I have never been so diligently shopping and I bought a purple dress and a bag.
Ever since I have decided to change, I did a lot of investment and I certainly hope that everything is worth it.
Though I have been questioning whether my actions are too overboard as my mindset is very different from the past.
I don’t feel like myself anymore.

I was practically rotting every single day at home because I was confined by my mum.
I did sneak out occasionally to run errands etc.

HAHA I do not understand what is so special about 23rd June because it seems like every event falls on this day.

First, my bridging examination results, I am so ashamed of myself for scoring lower than Kenny since he has much lesser time to study than me. (I should be at least on par with him.)
Anyway, I am happy and proud of him. HAHA
I cleared all papers, B+ for Mathematics and C for Economics. (All modules one grade below what I should get. Sigh.)

I received my medical report today, went back for a checkup just now.
The disgusting lump (which those who have visited me saw the picture) is actually a tumor.
But luckily, it is benign; therefore I do not have to do another operation to take out my other half of my thyroid as long as the left side doesn’t grow bigger.

And I have got my pay! HAHA
So I went shopping with my mum at Bugis just now (bought two shorts) and treat her to dinner to Soup Restaurant.
Sad to say, I have only two more days left before I return to work and serve my last month.
Furthermore, Angelia is leaving already. : (

Last night, Joey, Hazel, Rubber, Xixi and I went to Chomp Chomp for dinner.
I was practically staring at the delicious food I ordered for them while eating my macaroni soup. LOLX
Then we went to Ice3 for dessert and some chit-chatting.
The waffle is darn nice over there. HAHA (Highly recommended)

Happy Birthday Xixi!



Photos click here

I have learnt how to make sushi... HAHA...
Next up should be either Knitting or Kickboxing lessons..

Sometimes they just could not understand.
One does not speak up does not mean one feels nothing.
Half of the time one refuses to be the obedient self because it is tiring to maintain good, perform better and be the best.
But one’s instinct will always tilt to the other side so as to please them, or everyone.
A tiring life indeed but still, one rather see them happy than only one happy.
Changing the world is difficult, changing one to adapt is faster and less troublesome.
One's first concern is always them.

Once there was a young woman who didn't like her job.
Everyday when she came home from work, she told her husband how terrible her day had been, how tiring the work and how unreasonable her boss.
'Leave that job,' her husband told her.
'Oh I will,' she said.
'But not yet. I have too many friends there for me to leave just yet.'

And so she complained until the days became years and her family grew to five.
'Leave that job,' her children told her.
'Oh I will,' she said.
'But not yet.I have seniority and four weeks vacation I can spend with you. I'm not ready to start over just yet.'

And so she remained unhappy at work until the years became decades and her children had children.
'Leave that job,' her grandchildren told her.
'Oh I will,' she said.
'But not yet. There's only seven more years until I reach thirty years of service and can retire. So I can't just yet.'

I know this woman.
And so do you.
And there are scores like her.

This reminds me of the story about an old dog half-asleep on the porch of the general store, moaning and groaning in the sun.
'Why is your dog acting that way?' a customer asked the store owner.
'Oh,' answered the man, 'he's lying on a nail.'
'Well, why doesn't he move?'
'Because it's not hurting him bad enough.'

That's true for people, too.
We convince ourselves the pain is not bad enough to leave the workplace we know.
But we're wrong.
Prolonged work pain is damaging.
Some damages our self-esteem, kills our passion or destroys our dreams.
Some emerges when we compromise our values, quiet our voice or hide our talent.
Some happens when we're seduced by power or believe our own myths of importance and significance.
Some occurs when we look the other way, say yes when we mean no or forfeit the promises we made to ourself.

Wilbur Wright, of the Wright brothers fame, once commented, 'We could hardly wait to get up in the morning.'
I know that exhilarating feeling of being so passionate about something I was working on that I couldn't wait to get back to work.
And people who are winning at working know that kind of passion, too.
They get excited about work.
They thrive offering their unique gifts and talents.
And when things change as they sometimes will, they refuse to let a soul-depleting boss or environment hijack their self-esteem, passion or dreams.
When work becomes work, they stop lying on a nail and do something about it.
- end of story

This story is not the reason why I made such a decision to my life today.
Neither the drama “Fated to love you” was the main reason for my choice.
I just feel that, I need to win myself.
I need to change!
I do not wish to succeed only when people have already retired.
Even though I may fail, or may not make it big, I am willing to take up the challenge.
I finally have the courage. : )
Hope that nothing goes wrong before I start, but first, let me settle my current mess.

I believe I am a very disobedient person because I always sneak out of my house when I am supposed to rest at home after my operation.
Limin knows me well. HAHA (Just like what happened after my right foot operation a few years back)
On Black Friday, I went to get the Swensens Ice Cream cake and sneaked back to office to give Angelia a surprise.

After that went to RELC with my Dad and realized I forget to bring my stupid original certificates which means I have to go down again. (It is so inaccessible!)
Then we went to watch “The Happening” and it sucks, seriously not recommended at all.
Saturday, Sentosa with these people and they played volleyball while I just sat on the sand and laugh at them playing. LOLX

Though how much I wish to join them to play but I know I cannot stand the pain.
Before the others come, Angelia and I played for merely 2 minutes and I know my body cannot take it already. “-_-
Then Angel, Qiang, Mad and I went to the rooftop of Vivo to slack while waiting for Angelia’s boyfriend to come.
Angel became our model of the day and this is the best picture taken. LOLX


Then Kenny, Qiang, Angel and Yixiang came to my house to play mahjong.

I have received lots of concerns on my health lately.
From the visits to the hospital and home by my parents, sister, Mad, Angel, Ah Sun, Limin, Joey, Rubber, Kelvin, Hazel, Ye Wei to the messages I received from all of the above plus Qiang, Kenny, Baobei, Christy, Angelia, Xixi, Debbie and Yixiang.
I think those who visited me in the hospital could see that I am feeling weak and in pain.
Indeed, I am very stunned from my ghostly looks (as if I have some terminal illness) from the reflections on the mirrors and photos.
But I am recovering very well even though I still have difficulty talking, swallowing and I really dread to sleep because of the pain.
Hopefully I can recover fully really soon!
I am really bored at home and sick of watching my diet especially when I am outside.
My parents are really making sure I do not anyhow eat at all.

And I have really been avoiding listening to songs so that I will not have the craving to sing.
Today is the sixth day without hearing myself sing, kind of not used to it.
I even dreamt of myself singing and it reflects how much I miss my vocal. Sigh.
To keep me occupied, I am watching lots of dramas and I was addicted to “Fated to love you”.
Highly recommended and I cried when watching Episode 12 (very heartbreaking can!)

Photos are being uploaded to my multiply! click here
Dinner and Dance, all the 21st birthdays and outings...

Picture of the day

Don't you think that they look more like they are playing basketball than volleyball? HAHA

Second day back home, I am bored to death.
Although I have dramas to watch but maybe it is because I feel really uncomfortable with the pain and also the difficulty to talk properly.
But I really prefer to be home than hospitalized.
All I do there is to feel more painful, sleepy and weaker.
Whatever I ate there was vomited out in split seconds.
The night there, I wake up every single hour to see the time and my hands numb, stomach hungry.
I am so glad to be home.

I kept eating good food lately.
When my craving comes, I will search for it till I have it in my stomach. LOLX.

Thursday (whole day - one meal only)
- 2 bucks Economic Bee Hoon from Toa Payoh

Friday
Brunch - Ethan with Angelia and Christy - four six inches yummy sausages, three hungry girls, two rostis, one pasta...
Dinner - Si Chuan Steamboat at Mosque street for Colin's Farewell

Saturday
Brunch - Subway with Angel and Mad (SATC after that)
Dinner - Asian Kitchen - Fried rice, Guo Tie and Xiao Long Bao

Sunday
Breakfast - Egg Tarts
Lunch - Sakae Sushi Teppanyaki with Dad
Dinner - Early Father's Day celebration with parents - Yu Tou Lu, Tie Ban Dou Fu, Vegetable

Monday
Breakfast - Chicken mushroom pie
Lunch - Curry Chicken Noodles
Dinner - Japanese food with colleagues

And I fulfilled my dear Christy's request and bought three big bags of tidbits full before I leave for my break... LOLX..
And it is kind of a happiness to shop without looking at the price at all..

Specially for Angelia - Loackers, Ritz cheese crackers and marshmellows... She said I am very sweet but if I were a guy, she will still not marry me as her husband must be at least 175.. hmmm.. LOLX

Specially for my Baobei Agnes - Rochers, Oreo and Hello Panda...

I know my ex-partner Christy can eat anything so this box overflowed with tidbits is under her care.. HAHA

Now on (12 midnight), I am going to starve and wake up earlier than my usual working days to reach NUH at 8.30am and also to be notified at the eleventh hour that I cannot claim because I am with the company for less than one year. "-_-
I really feel like swearing sometimes.

Received very sweet messages from my dear Secondary clique... Hazel, Xixi, Kelvin, Joey, Limin, rubber... My family are really concerned also... So is Ah Sun, ah bee, my darling, angelia, angel, qiang, yixiang, kenny, yewei... Kemmy, Christy, my baobei, Colin, Violet... Thanks for all the encouragement! : )

Recently I spend my money with both my eyes closed. LOLX
The K with Ken and Lia was pretty high; especially towards the end we actually sang all English old school songs - from Backstreetboys to Westlife to Spice Girls to Atomic Kitten etc. HAHA
Reminds me of my Secondary school days, singing with Kelvin and Joey and now my singing khakis became Kenny and Angelia.
That night it took me slightly more than half an hour to walk from my house to Yishun Safra. “-_-
I did not expect it to be so long and far.

Back to work, as expected I have got tons to clear and I have not finish much yet.
And I broke down again on Thursday night and Friday morning.
Angelia saw it this time.
I find it really hard to control my emotions nowadays which I hate it the most.
Christy, my ex partner, became the top record to see me cry.
Think of it, I know her for barely a year and she saw me cry the most. Gosh! The statistics is really scary.
The good news is I finally tendered my resignation on Friday but I will be working till the end of July.
Hope that all of this is going to be over soon!

My liquor is here... and it is so gigantic... "-_- Wonder when will I get to try this.. haha

I was so excited last night that today I will complete all my papers but I feel very depress now.
Hopefully, the k later with Kenny and Angelia will carry on smoothly so cheer me up.
Well, yes, both my papers are done.
My target for A for Mathematics and B for Economics seem to be gone.
But not really because of my predictable grades that made me so upset now.
I cleared my papers and thought everything is finally over and then realize I still have so many unfinished businesses.
Life still goes on, I know.

Anyway these two nights I stayed over at my uncle’s place and was really grateful to their considerate hospitality. (From my grandma, Uncle Derrick and Uncle Long)
Uncle Derrick helped me open the door, make sure my room was air-conditioned (all of them seldom switch on the air-con) etc.
Uncle Long, although never say much, but he always asked if I need the computer etc. This is his condo actually.
My grandma, cute lar, although I have much difficulty speaking proper Teochew to her, she will always come and talk to me.
The first morning she asked me if I want breakfast, I told her no need and she caught me red-handed buying breakfast downstairs. LOLX
This morning, she did not ask me and she bought bee hoon for me. LOL. That is the only type of breakfast she will buy, expected. HAHA
And they helped me pair the keys to their house even though my dad has it already.
I feel quite weird to be the only grandchildren with the keys. (Though I am the eldest grandchildren in the family)
But still, I am very touched.
But what can I do for them? Sigh.

This was my "study table" these two nights.

There was a mattress for me but I prefered the sofa which was exactly 1.5metres (how I knew?) because it is exactly my height and I fit perfectly inside. LOLX.

I woke up on the first morning and saw a miracle!! A beautiful sunrise... 7am...

Here I am again, distracted from studying.
Initially I dread to go for the dinner and dance but it turns out to be a pleasant event because it was really fun and high especially with the company of Angelia. : )
Thanks for going and be my partner for the dinner!

She looks gorgeous in Angel’s dress right? HAHA
The whole of yesterday I only had dinner, so I was really famished by the time the dinner came.
The food was okay, and the standard of Meritus Mandarin’s banquet has improved tremendously.
But we were not really concentrating on eating; we were so enthusiastic in the games and programs.
Angelia and I were practically so high, shouting, clapping and laughing.
Maybe the tiger beer did work. [Just kidding, I only drank a few sips but Angelia drank a few glasses.]
We took tons of photos also.

Agnes and I... Isn't she pretty? HAHA



This sexy lady here got a handsome guy from Fixed Income to come talk to her. HAHA
I guess makeup and dressing up does the wonders.
The youngest four in the department.. HAHA
Credit Secretariat crew from the past till now...

To conclude: BNP Paribas’s Dinner and Dance was fabulous. And the company is certainly rich especially when you see what the lucky draw prizes were. The door gift was a 1GB Imation thumbdrive by the way.
After that we were still high but do not want to join the Mambo night in the ballroom, Agnes, Colin, Christy and I went to Khandi Bar to drink.
Colin was really nice to send us all home.
And I vomited after I reached home! Gosh! I swear I was not drunk at all though I drank three quarter of the two jugs of house pour we ordered. HAHA
I guess it was because I did not eat the whole day.

The night before, SHE, Yixiang and I went for a late night movie - Narnia.
"-_- Angel was so high... HAHA... Was really pai sei as Yixiang drove all of us home.

Oh well, back to mugging. I am so nervous for exams.